Today. Today was…. weird. Honestly, it was one of the strangest days Ive had in a long time.
Ive been seeing things lately, out of the corner of my eye. Shadows, air. Things like that.
And today, this phenomena continued. Not complaining though.
The general “feel” of today was strange too, however. As I went though my day, I could feel it. Like a new kind of air had replaced what we were used to. And here we are, breathing it in, wondering what it is that is different about our surroundings, unable to pinpoint on just what it is. Air possession…Is mother nature on holiday?…. dontmindme
The strangest thing though, is that today, when looked at objectively, appears to be normal. I cant write the air though. So you’ll just have to imagine that its there. Or just take my word.
I went through my typical Thursday errands and tasks. Things carried out just fine. The morning passed typically. Bank at 9am, (didnt have work this morning) then back to my home to clean, watch something, read, waste away, etc…
Then out I went for the afternoon, first getting my little sister, then dropping her off.
Then to the cafe for something to keep me awake and warm at the same time. The lattes I got were phenomenal, contrary to how they are every god damn time I get them. I did a spot of studying while crashing at the office I go to for a few hours on Thursdays (I drop my sister off for after school activities some off 40 mins away from my house, then muck about for 3 hours. Office is the best way to not spend they money I dont have)
I looked into things I learned ages ago while I was still at college, and read up on them. Refreshing my memory I guess. I honestly cant wait to get back in and finish. It seems odd to say ,cos Im not a fan of what I’m studying at all, but I think I just want to finish already. Have it buried and done. The loan debt will remain for… ever, but at least I’ll have what I need to get hired. I really regret going to college in the first place. Or at least, the college I was going to. I met some great people there, so I cant regret all of it. But I do wish I had gone to Art college instead. Against my parents wishes. I dont care if ‘artists dont get jobs’ . I just want to be happy. And wait, fuck, artists dont get jobs? Watch me. Had I gone down that path, I would have made a name for myself. I want to be the best, as unhealthy and silly as that sounds. But its true. Im very competitive. I like winning. #kanyeshrug
Anyway, back to today (yesterday at this point in time)…
The evening carried on from there. I found out about some work mates of mine who were fired today. Its unfortunate, but in all honesty, they were caught goofing off. On camera. Several times…. over the span of several months. I work my arse off, and Ive watched as coworkers slack, and I just physically cannot do that cos of ADD work ethic. Nevertheless, it feels shitty to work hard and earn the same as someone who doesn’t work at all.
So, I patted their back, so to speak, and told them to get back on the horse, then proceeded to wiggle myself out of the conversation cos I eventually lost interest. (ADD :/)
Then, some twitter madness emerged, which honestly left me very happy. Its silly, but it made me happy. Still does right now cos I bloody love the men involved. Theyre the sunshine in the night, so to speak. It was a brilliant way to top off the night, and very strange day. (Really, you haven’t the slightest clue as to how happy that made me)
Still chuffed, I walked my dog. I’m blessed with a dark neighbourhood, so I can see every star in the sky. If you know me… You know that I love the stars just as much as I love anything. I love them like theyre my family. In a way, I feel like they are. I sound insane, but I dont quite give a fuck. I look up at the stars, and I feel home. I feel good. I feel… right.
You know… Every year, every Christmas for as long as my tiny little mind can remember, I would ask Santa for a telescope. A good one. One that I could see anything with.
And every year, I got anything but.
This year…. Same. Even with my incredible debt, I would have rathered a high powered telescope. Give me happiness, fuck the debt. That’ll be there no matter what.
Anyway. … Theres me day….? Its fucking jumbled up inside a word salad and I want to edit it and make it flow better, but the truth is… Its 1.30 in the morning. I think im lucky to even be coherent .
night xx
